Normally I would be spouting off about how scary this looks and how I will never, ever see this movie (ok, that part’s probably still true), but honestly, this trailer for Dark House, the newest film from Jeepers Creepers director Victor Salva, just looks confusing beyond anything else.
There’s so many things happening in this trailer. A guy can touch people and see how they die, which is okay, pretty standard, but then they throw in this house, guarded by Tobin Bell, whose creepiness is muted somewhat by an unfortunate hair piece, and then there a bunch of dudes in the woods with axes. And the official plot description really doesn’t clear anything up:
Dark House is the story of Nick Di Santo, who is tormented by his ability to touch someone and see exactly how they will die. On his 23rd birthday Nick is summoned by his mother (Leslie-Anne Down) to the asylum where she has been institutionalized since his childhood. Hoping that her request to see him is a sign of improvement, Nick is stunned by her revelation that the father he thought was dead is really alive. He is alive and may know the origin of Nick’s terrible gift. Nick sets out to find his father with his best friend Ryan (Anthony Rey Perez) and girlfriend Eve (Alex McKenna).
The trio are soon frightened and alarmed as every road they take on the journey leads them back to the same abandoned mansion – a house that only existed in Nick’s childhood imagination or so he thought. A house in a town that no map connects. Finally succumbing to the will of the house, Nick becomes embroiled in a battle with a dark figure (Bell). What started as a simple road trip soon turns into a terror-filled journey, full of horrifying twists and brutal surprise.
But look, no matter how convoluted or confusing a plot may be, I still don’t want to see a guy’s head get smashed in with an sledgehammer as this trailer so proudly teases. So I’ll have to go through life never knowing what Dark House is all about. For the curious but brave, it releases on VOD on March 11th.